River Creek--The River Creek Trickle wishes to apologize about an article printed last week that referred to a Mr. Trout. His real name is Mr. Bluegill. The editor was heard to say, "I thought that sounded kinda fishy."
The River Creek Fire Staff had their annual training exercise in the old grain elevator last Thursday. Smoke training was especially concentrated on, and involved one of the staff standing at the bottom floor with two sticks of incense and a personal pocket fan, with the Fire Department attempting to make their way through the resulting smoke.
March Industrial retired... excuse me, downsized... excuse me again, rightsized, their staff by one quarter today with the retirement of Joseph March. March will be retained as owner of the company, however. Says Joseph, Jr., "He tweren't doin' any work, anyhow, unless you count that daily round at the Country Club."
Barnabus George Bixby, of BGB Bowling, has announced another innovation in his quest to improve bowling scores for all. Following the steps of Little Josie Carnegie, the toddler who bowled three hundred, he announced yesterday that he has installed bumpers for all of the eight lanes he operates. He predicts that averages should rise an average of twenty to fifty pins. He says that he has installed the industrial quality bumpers for those who throw 16 pound balls.
Lazarus Nelson, River Creek Festival head, reports that he has been able to get the Rip Roaring Water Balloon Band. Their unique sound involves letting air out of balloons, rubbing the balloons, and dropping water balloons on unwary passers-by. Lazarus says it's a unique group with a sound not to be missed, and adds that a good time should be had by all, except, maybe, the passers-by.
In a similar vein, Vlad Tepes, local vampire and blood drive head, reports that plans for the blood drive are flowing nicely. Due to the unique nature of Mr. Tepes, this blood drive will be held on Wednesday Night this year. Also, he reports that a moratorium on Garlic eaters will be strictly enforced this year. He says that the advent of garlic tablets are a particular problem.
Rafe Johnson, of Johnson Lumber Store, reports that the counseling programs he has instituted is a resounding success. He says that coping with coping saws is going well, and he is thinking about starting a class for carpenters who have a fear of planes. Also on the agenda is avoiding building sinking boats with sinkers (hitting the problem on the nail.)
Lazarus Nelson's son Nelson reports that the sea monster he spotted in the front of his house is friendly, and, with a striking lack of originality, has named the monster Nessie. He has made a deal with Nessie that if he will keep the speedboats off the pothole, Nessie will promise not to scare all the fish into the depths. It seems that they communicate by mind-meld, which Nelson learned while watching Star Trek. And who says TV isn't educational?