RIVER CREEK--Downtown improvments was the main topic of last Wednesday's River Creek Village Council Session, held at the Village Council Hall until the skunk family took umbrage shortly after the beginning of the meeting... again... and by unamimous consent, the meeting was immediately moved to Mavis Beaber's Bar, Grille, and Newstand.  Village Engineer, Joe, reports that due to the back wall still being down, the stink should clear out within a day or two.  He hopes.

     After resettling at Mavis' place, the Village Council laid out its plan for the downtown improvement.  As everyone knows, the Decorative Brickwork is already down... and still being pushed up by unknown creatures, according to Joe.  He suspects now that the cause may be giant ants, approximately a foot in length.  He was stared at intensely by every pair of eyes in the room, and this reporter sneaked over to check Joe's drink.  It seemed to be straight milk.  One suspects Joe has a vivid imagination.

     Mayor Summers reported that the progess of the Village Wide Deck was impeded by a number of Property owners who objected to eliminating their front  lawns and bringing the deck up to their front doors, and that Serious Steps needed to be taken to these malcontents.  Possibly legal steps should be taken.

     Rafe Johnson stood up at this point and pointed out that he did not have enough treated lumber in his inventory to make a deck reach one mile  down Main Street across town, and, besides, he wasn't terribly sure how they were going to build a deck across the Big River... use water wings?  He also thought the plan to make the deck look like a medieval castle was a mite much... and he didn't think he could find precarved treated wood that looked like gargoyles.  Besides, there was a small matter of a pay,ment for the last job...

     At this point, Mayor Summers called Johnson's comments out of order, and called them to be stricken from the record.

     Lazarus Nelson pointed out that all of the decorations in the county couldn't disguise the fact that the roads were in poor repair.  Not that he cared.  He said the monster in the

pothole in front of his house... Nessie, the Lake Serpeant, well, he had developed quite a friendship with the critter.  So they should fix the rest of the road except that section.

     Councilwoman LaKiesha Andrews came in about this point... she explained later that she was late because her baby Denzel hadsn't finished feeding, and, of course, she had gone the the Village Council Hall first.  She asked for and received a summary of the meeting so far, then said that 1) she agreed with Rafe, and 2) the closest to the road and the biggest offender to the progess of the deck was the Village Council Hall, and she wondered what was going to happen there!  Was the Village going to take legal steps against itself?

     Mayor Summers, apparently trying to save face, said the Village itself shouldn't be exempt.  He proposed disasembling and moving the building back ten feet from the road.  At this point, Joe, Village Maintenance  Worker, fainted.

     After the excitement died down and Joe was restored to us, albeit pale, Councilwoman Andrews said, well, Joe had a point.  Mayor Summers said what point?  He didn't hear Joe say anything.  Andrews said, well, he wouldn't have collapsed if you hadn't proposed moving the building.  Joe started to go down again, but this reporter threw a glass of cold water in his face. 

     Andrews said, then what was the point of fixing up the back wall, if you were just going to move the building, and besides, wouldn't a deck cover up the decorative brickwork we just had installed?  Mayor Summers said  weakly, well, we had to do something to beautify this town. 

     LaKiesha Andrews said, well, some flowers might look nice and they were much cheaper.  The council conceded the point, but are still going to keep the deck plan under advisement.  This reporters opinion is that the whole thing gives me a headache.