RIVER CREEK 3

                     by Lorraine Anderson

 

River Creek--Politics divided the Wednesday, Seven P.M. session of the River Creek Village Council, held at Mavis' diner once again.

     In the first order of business, the Council was reassured by the Village Engineering Department, Joe, that the interior of the Council Building will be repainted by the next meeting.  The previous Village Engineering Department, Steve (who has since left for parts unknown) was color-blind.  The walls, which are presently tangerine and pink, are being repainted a basic white.  LaKeisha Andrews, Councilwoman, said the walls made her sick.  She also said angrily that being seven and one-half months pregnant had absolutely nothing to do with it.

  First on the slate was a Welfare Reform Proposal.  Weatherall argued that the only Welfare recipient in the area was John Black, and he had his suspicions about him, due to the numerous jar shaped depressions in Black's back yard.  Rafe Johnson, Johnson Lumber Store owner, testified that the money he got from John did smell mighty funny.  Not that he was implying anything.  After all, he had stood downwind of John on a hot Summer's day.  Not that he was implying anything...

     At this point, he was suppressed by Sam Andrews, Police Chief, by putting a paper bag over his head.

     Mayor Summers said, nevertheless, they still needed to discuss the subject.  Councilman Lazarus Nelson then took a poll of the audience.  All agreed that the topic should be dropped.  This reporter thought so, too.

     Lazarus Nelson noted that the hole in front of his house on Main Street was growing larger, and that the Village should consider a lighthouse to keep any wayward boats from beaching themselves on any shoals of broken asphalt.  Joanne Long said, with a snide look at Mr. Nelson, that the hole wasn't that big, that only three or four rowboats could fit in it at one time.  She also mentioned that the Bluegills that her husband caught in the hole were mighty tasty, and that she was in no hurry to fix the street.

     Discussion was raised on the subject of the River Creek Water Fling.  Hiram Weatherall noted that he was once again unable to book Glenn Miller and his Orchestra, or even Mitch Miller and his all-men chorus.  Although a ripple of disappointment flowed through the audience, Councilwoman Andrews pointed out that Glenn Miller had disappeared over the English Channel around 50 years ago, and therefore shouldn't be expected to respond to Weatherall's invitation.  Weatherall mused that no wonder the letter he received seemed rather wet. But he was surprised about Mitch Miller's lack of response.  Mayor Daniel Summers, who had been napping thus far, said that perhaps it was in the tone of the letter:  "Come or we'll break your kneecaps."  Weatherall responded plaintively that he was sure everyone knew he was joking.  So it looks like the entertainment for this year is, once again, Igor Stravinsky and his all Maori chorus and string band, which is, in this reporter's  opinion, far better than Rafe Johnson's Comb, Hammer, Nail, and Saw band.  At least they play on key.