RIVER CREEK 5

                     by Lorraine Anderson

River Creek--A step forward was taken in the development of the River Creek Industrial Park, the location which is yet to be determined.  In the Wednesday night meeting of the River Creek Village Council, held once again at Mavis Beaber's Bar, Grille, and Newsstand, all Council members agreed that the idea sounded good, and they appointed a Committee to look into the idea.

     Upon the noted lack of volunteers, the Council appointed itself to be the Committee.  Mayor Summers said that the whole problem of location could be avoided; he would donate his land for the development of the Industrial Park.  Mayor Summer's land, commonly known around the Village as Summer's Folly, is located along the Big River behind the Summer's Bank and Trust.  LaKiesha Andrews noted that in order for a factory to locate on Summer's Folly, it would first have to have water wings, Mr. Summer's land being a swamp.

     Paul Travis said that he had some prime land East of his landfill that he would be willing to sell.  LaKiesha Andrews noted weakly that she would have to leave the table a second, and that she had lost her appetite.  Mr. Travis angrily replied that the landfill did not smell that bad.  Mrs. Andrews, looking around the room, and visibly regretting her statement, responded diplomatically that she was pregnant, and sometimes she reacted that way.  However, this reporter concurs with Mrs. Andrews; his landfill does smell that bad.  To describe it as smelling of rotten eggs and unwashed pigs would do it justice.  Apparently, Mr. Travis hasn't kept up on his landfill literature.

     A variety of people from the audience then attempted to put in their two cents worth, some of them apparently Paul Travis' neighbors.   Hiram Weatherall settled the dispute by slamming his glass of beer on the table, thereby showering his neighbors, of which this reporter was one.  This effectively silenced the crowd; however, Councilman Weatherall's action was called out of order by Mayor Summers.  As it should be.  It wasn't even good beer.

     In other Council news:  Councilman Lazarus Nelson reports that his program of placing his oldest boy, Nelson, with a flashlight on the edge of the pothole in front of his house on foggy nights is working just fine.  Fewer boats have hit the edge of the asphalt.  His boy also makes fine foghorn noises, and can gargle Dixie in two or three minor keys.  The boy reports that the only danger in his duty involves in avoiding the high tide.  However, he does wish the village would fix the pothole... he's getting awfully tired of the fish dinners he's been having ever since his Dad started fishing there.

     Repairs on the Village Hall are said to be proceeding fine, in spite of the carpenter's insistence of using Silly Putty as a valid building material.  In this reporter's opinion, Play-Doh is far superior.   However, in a survey by this reporter, many people prefer school paste for construction.  They cite the edibility of the product.  All this reporter can say is "Bon Appetite."